Isaiah Thomas Outted

"What is going on here??? I cannot believe that Lil Zeke would be harassing a woman??? Just look at him ......does he look like a straight man to you??





"That smile looks real suspect"





"Isaiah is more Broke Back Mountain than Gladiator but then again he would not mind being around a bunch of big sweaty mens in tight shorts fighting for they very lives"



"now I ain't gonna let yall talk about Zeke like that without first giving him some type of official scientific test"







"Dammmmmmmn...off the charts!!!! The Gay-Dar don't lie but to be sure let's test it out on this person"







"Your Honor I submit to you that my client could not possibly have sexually harrased this woman or any other woman the Gay-Dar is 99.8% accurate only in the case of Prince is the machine thrown off"





"Well I know all about sexual harrassment like the back of Anita's Hill's.....sorry I digress is there any other witness"



"I know Gay and Isaiah Thomas is not Gay but that Aresenio, he is a real freak"




"Mr Murphy your testimony needs to be verfied by the Gay-Dar machine"



"P. Diddy ain't neva seen Isaiah in no Gay Clubs...Not that I been to those spots"



" Listen Judge, you of all people should recognize sexual harassment and I have never even looked at her booty not one time you can ask any of my man friends "



"Man Friends??? like text smiley faces back and forth man friends???"



"Time Out ! Time Out ! Why can't you text your buddy a smiley face"



"Fool because it ain't natural...like kissing your homeboy before a NBA championship game..that is some pre-meditated gay @$$ sh*t right there..I almost spilled my Moet all over my $3000.oo suit when I seen that happen"



"Now I can explain .....see what happen was.....see it started out as a hug then"



"Ok then why is Dennis Rodman looking like even this is too gay for him to be down with???"





"Hmmmm the evidence is strong I might consider throwing this case out"



"Is this a crime against women ?? you know I am the face of domestic violence"



"Nah , miss thang you think you gonna come up in here and take what I got??? I built this whole platform...Me and Ike did it....you can't just waltz in here and act like you the first woman to get beatdown"

O.J. Simpson Speaks Out!!!

"Damn all these other people are getting all the airtime, Mike Vick , Barry Bonds , Pac Man Jones I mean I use to be the the most hated n**** alive and now I think people must have forgot...I got to get back on TV...I should be featured on Court TV and not Mike Vick or Maurice Clarrett"



"I can't take it no mo..I need to come up with a way to get back on CNN...I mean even the preachers now are getting airtime for doing stooopid stuff"





"Is that what Juanita Bynum calls an assualt??? A Choking?? Sh** now a days anybody can get on TV for choking..They must have forgot how I did it back in the day...watch me..u see my hand motions ...I still got it..... I perfected the art of choking ...They trying to be like me and they ain't even doing it right...recognize game playa"



"I want to give a shot out to the original domestic violence King.....Ike Turner...I saw how you whooped Tina's @$$ about that birthday cake and I thought that was classic"



"I'll Be Damned, I showed that man how to apply pressure with the index finger and the pinky while resting the fore finger above the trachea...now he gets on TV and he don't know me"



"Man O.J. Stop hatin' I showed you the 1 inch slap...don't get it twisted"



"Say playa if you wanna get back on TV do something stooopid like steal your own stuff back that way they can't charge you because it is your stuff but you will get back on the news"



"Hell Yeah...I mean what do I need? how do I maximize the effect??"



"Go in with a gun, start yellin and acting crazy and cussin like I do in ALL of my movies..They got to feel you...let these mu#$%^&f^&*% know you mean bizness I got Pac Man Jones number if you need it"



"Look At Me Damn it..Yall bout to see me real soon errwhere...I am bout to regain the title like Ali ...I am public enemy #1..I will have more webhits than brittany spears...let me call Geraldo so he can get the exclusive"







"Damn this feels good...do you see my face!!! I am loving this...I am back...slow down Mr. Officer make sure they got me on film!!!"



"Damn it Look At Me!!! Did you see a more happy face for a mug shot??? Mike Vick where you at?? I got CNN on lock you gonna have to do a special ESPN Town Hall live from Atlanta to get me off TV"





"I know my lawyers told me not to talk but....I mean I did not do this..this is just racism...I just happened to be walking thru the hotel and somebody asked me to come up stairs and sign my autograph on some stuff and I realized it was my stuff. I asked for it back and then all these cameras rushed out of the closet. I thought I was on Punk'd but when the police came in I realized this was real...so I was told this will not go to trial until next year so I guess you all will have to get used to seeing me for a while...I'm back"

Crimes Of Passion

Juanita: " You think people gonna believe that this marriage is real ?
Bishop Weeks: "church folks is stooopid you can sell them anything...trust me we can market this thing and make a ton of money"
Juanita: Now you said something there




"I hope yall don't have no babies out of wedlock...but I confess I be da Pappy of dat dere baby"




Juanita: Stop frowning act like you want to be here??
Bishop Weeks: How am I gonna pay for all of this?



"Does anybody have any advice for this couple before the say I do"





Bobby : Always have ground rules when you fight..no kicking in the nuts and no biting and scratching in the face you know stuff like that "




"And if that n**** gets to chokin' and @#%^ then leave his @ss , because he ain't got no money no way..."



"Girl if he beats you up you can always play the victim and come up"



"Keep Video Cameras out of your house!!!!"



"If she trys to set you up then you can always sneak over one night and kill her ...I mean just like I did.... if I would have done it..... I can recommend some good kid leather gloves they are the best because they shrink when they get wet or soaked with with blood"



"If you going to kill somebody just make sure it ain't no dogs"